WEARING MY HEART ON MY SLEEVE

Today’s outfit in my own words is wearing my heart on my sleeve. You’ll find out soon enough why that is. So grab some tissue and popcorn guys

But before we get into that. Hello and welcome, if you are new to my site, thanks for stopping by and hope you will stick around.

 

This past weekend reminded me of how some things will never change. The constant need for people to remind me that I am skinny. I spent the weekend with my relatives at a family event and as always there never lacks two or more people who feel the need to point out how skinny I am, sighs. While it is considered rude to walk up to an overweight person and comment on their weight, most people consider it fair to comment on the weight of a naturally skinny woman.  Maybe it is all out of concern but the need to keep comparing me to others around me is just annoying. Clearly, it is still so un-African to be a naturally skinny woman.

Relative: Hi *leans in for a hug*

Me: * Big smile* Hi

Them: I see you are still not eating as you should be, umekuwa mdogo sana ( as they grab my wrist to prove their point)

Me: Does an eye roll and thinks to myself what’s new. But I keep it together and manage to give that big smile and a giggle

Them: what year are you now?

Me: I have another year to go

Them: That explains why you are still so skinny, ni masomo. Usijali ata your cousin X alikuwa kama wewe lakini since graduating they’ve gained some weight.

Me: I need to get out of this conversation before I loose it and give you a piece of my mind. But again I somehow keep it together and giggle.

For as long as I can remember I have always been a skinny girl, currently a size 6 which in most cases means most if not all of my clothes are from the kids’ section. I was slightly bigger in my high school days but  I lost that weight , looking back at an old picture my brother recently sent me. I wasn’t actually chubby I just had a bigger torso, bigger upper body. Basically the Johnny Bravo shape. So, in short, all I am tryna say is I have never been chubby even back then I was still just a skinny girl. Just a bigger torso to go with it.

If you are an avid reader of my blog then you know I mentioned weight gain on this post . I’m not the type that constantly looks into how much they weigh but last I checked (during a medical checkup) I was what the doctors term as underweight. Still trying to get to that ‘normal weight’. One thing that I want to point out is,  I eat! Probably way more than some of you, just that my metabolism seems to be way faster and thus the struggle to gain weight. So comments like, “ mbona unaringia chakula, ama ni slim possible?” are just offensive!

And let’s just say in a world where the idea of beauty is big butts and big torsos.Embracing your own kind of beautiful gets even harder. Have you heard the number of songs just based along the lines of ”…I like my girls BBW…” and the constant need to shame skinny girls from ”…fuck those skinny bitches in the club…” to ”real men like meat …” as if you have to shame one body type to celebrate another?

Also when you see that skinny girl in the gym, stop with the stares  and  ignorant comments such as “what is she doing here’  we too want to stay healthy thank you very much!

Let’s all take one thing from this post.

Skinny is sexy, curvy is sexy. But most of all confidence is sexy regardless of the size.

Moral of the story: I decided to share these sentiments on here because I felt like it was about time I said something, many are the times I have people say to me I wish I was as skinny as you but then you’d be facing the same comments and stares I get on a daily basis. With time I have learned that self-confidence is the best middle finger of all time. Especially in this millennial age where some feel the need to dictate what a skinny girl should and shouldn’t wear; same goes for every other body type. For instance, this burgundy tube dress, “fashion rules” dictate that skinny girls should lean more towards skater dresses and structured fabrics but I threw that rule out the window and decided you know what this skinny girl is going to wear a bodycon tube dress (see where the middle finger attitude comes in ?).So you know what my loves, do you. Are people constantly telling you-you are too chubby to wear a strapless dress and should instead cover up? Where’s that confidence baby girl wear a strapless dress if you want to and be proud of your chunky thighs as well. Cause life is too short to be living it based on other people’s ideas of what beauty is

life is too short to be living it based on what other people’s idea of beauty is. So take a deep breath.

Photography: Topart Photography contact him via his Instagram if you are looking for a photographer.

Dress: HERE

Be sure to leave me a comment if you can relate to this post. I would love to hear from you.Also, a big thank you to all those that have subscribed, if you haven’t already please do and remember to share the post if you loved it. – XOXO

`Beauty is the opposite of perfection; it is about confidence, charisma, and character. `